Hope Through Brokenness: "The Romancer" (Track 5)

Hope Through Brokenness: “The Romancer” (Track 5)
Blog Post by Kurt Scobie
September 9, 2012
www.kurtscobie.com/blogs

In the midst of the immeasurable pain my wife and I experienced when our baby passed away, was a peace that God provided. We sent up a lot of prayers while grieving the loss of Bella, but this song is a prayer that I prayed asking God to simply draw close to us.

Step
So softly
And hold my hand
This land is exploding tonight
Can we stand?
And just dance

When life blows up in your face, you long for an escape. You can only focus on the chaos and the explosions and the destruction for so long, before you just need a distraction. Before you just need to check out for a bit.

You are the center
And I’m spinning ‘round
You move me faster
And I’m holding on
I’m fixed on your beauty
I’ll never look away
Dance with me
And everything will be OK

This chorus may not be the most “deeply” written, but the words call out to God for the deepest level of intimacy. My prayers immediately following Bella’s passing were for a feeling of closeness with God that would mute the world around me. The pain seemed so great and lasted for so long that the only thing I could pray for was a mental escape. My desire, at this place of utmost brokenness, was for His presence. God’s closeness. Simple. Deep. Nothing else.

Shift
We’re moving
Wave on wave
So deep from your ocean
Crash to these shores
And I crave more

An overwhelming “ocean” of love flooded into my life when I prayed for this rescuer to come. I was so blown away by the ways God was revealing His love for me that I began writing it all down. From little things to huge things, God was crashing wave after wave after wave of peace and comfort into my world. The biggest of these blessings was discovering a few months after losing Bella that another baby was on the way. Even though my son Judah was only the size of a fingernail when we found out about him, that fraction-of-an-ounce of hope was enough to keep me hopeful (that is, FULL of hope).

In the community of people who have suffered the loss of a baby, if a child is born after that loss he or she is called a “rainbow baby”. The rainbow is a symbol of hope and promise. Judah’s fingernail-size life was a small and seemingly insignificant promise, but God was faithful to grow that hope and bring that MIRACLE (there really is no other word for human life) into our world.

The overwhelming waves of God’s love continue, even today. We just passed the one-year mark from when we lost our first baby. And we are continually showered with more promise and hope than we can keep track of.

Touch
So softly
Stop
I’ll wait
You’re the Romancer
Love

This dance, this prayer for comfort is ongoing. It is the perfect evening that never ends. When one song ends, the next begins. The Romancer is walking with us through this dance we call life, full of hopes, dreams, hardship, heartache, gains, losses, music, silence... and love. This is the point. The greatest is love.

You are the center
And I’m spinning ‘round
You move me faster
And I’m holding on
I’m fixed on your beauty
I’ll never look away
Dance with me
And everything will be OK

One last note. That “everything will be OK” part might be misleading. This life will always have brokenness. The person you think has everything going for them, doesn’t. We will be broken. And that is ok. Because our completeness doesn’t come from having it all or never getting hurt, but from trusting His perfect touch to bring us comfort and healing. True completeness. True hope through all of our brokenness.